nursing

Are you a breastfeeding mom or were you, like me, once upon a time a breastfeeding mom who found breastfeeding so damn hard you couldn’t even believe it? I had an incredibly difficult time coupled with postpartum issues. Postpartum & breastfeeding issues are more common than you might think. In fact, in my experience, breast feeding difficulties are more common than not.

Most women I’ve talked with had some type of hardship surrounding their breastfeeding experience. Many have such a sucky (no pun intended) time they just give up. For better or worse, I persevered.

As tough as it was, I never lost sight of the fact that I was blessed with a healthy, thriving, fun baby who allowed me to experience a love I never knew existed.

I’ve felt compelled to share my own difficult breastfeeding & postpartum story for 16 years. I finally do in this video

At the time, I knew I’d write about it one day. I thought I’d do it sooner but all things happen at the right time. 20% of women in the U.S. suffer from anxiety and mood disorders before or after pregnancy and it can last up to 3 years postpartum.

Both of my pregnancies was great but I suffered postpartum anxiety after my first. I’m so far removed from that point in my life but I remember it like it was yesterday. Perhaps you had a similar experience and will relate to my story. One thing I know for sure, if you did or if you are currently, you are not alone.

A national survey conducted by Every Mother Counts, Seleni Institute, Peanut, Motherly and Maven, revealed that the majority of women reported experiencing both depression and anxiety. I distinctly remember thinking I am going to write about this one day because I cannot possibly be the only mom going through this but this was 2002. Facebook didn’t exist and blogs weren’t nearly what they are now. No time like the present and especially fitting because August is National Breast Feeding Month and I recently had a conversation with my niece who went through a similar experience after giving birth to her beautiful daughter in January.

I want to share my story because since then I’ve met so many  women who have been in the same exact boat. If you have a similar experience, I want you to know you are not alone or crazy like I thought I was. 

I share much more in this video I did in my Facebook group which you are welcome to join… 

It was of upmost importance to me to be able to feed my baby the almighty breastmilk to give him the zillions of immune boosting health benefits, particularly being such a wellness advocate advocate. And frankly I figured it would be easier than having to make bottles and drag them along and certainly cheaper, breastmilk is free.

In the video, I share that I unknowingly nearly starved my son for the first few days. He latched on just fine so I had no idea no milk was coming out. I did everything possible including hiring a lactation consultant.

I also talk about the circus it was and the rigors I went through weighing him, nursing him, weighing him again to see what measly little milk I might’ve given him… then making a bottle to supplement after which I had to pump to try to encourage my mammary glands to start making milk on their own and hopefully increase milk production.

The whole process was so freaking long by the time I was done feeding him it was practically time to feed him again! I now realize why wet nurses were popular at a point in time. 

I also reveal how I finally, after months of screwed up sleep patterns, got him to sleep through the night and become a good napper. I literally thought I would never be able to leave the house. I was almost delirious. The sleep deprivation was brutal and made me nuts. That coupled with the postpartum anxiety I was experiencing and lack of support made me so damn irritable.

As rough as it was, he was a sweet, fun baby… the light of my life. I was fortunate to have plenty of wonderful times with him during that first year and more and more with each passing year. I expound a great deal in the video, I wonder how many of you can relate in any way. Drop a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

I want to share my story because since then I’ve met so many  women who have been in the same exact boat. If you have a similar experience, I want you to know you are not alone or crazy like I thought I was.